Chapter 60, Inappropriate Means Inappropriate

Translator: Barnnn

 

Powerful Mystic Beasts roamed the 41st floor of the Jasted Dungeon, welcoming only the bravest and most formidable adventurers.

Today, among the challengers were…

 

“GRUOOOOOOO!”

“Hah!”

“Yah!”

“Ize! Get behind it! Hal, you too!”

“On it!”

“Hrrrah!”

“GRAAAAH!”

“Take this!”

“There!”

“Hal, now! Blast it!”

“Aww, yeah!”

 

Ize darted aside, swiftly avoiding the Orc General’s targeted strike as its massive axe swung with deadly force. With a signal from Fieda, Hal, assured that Ize was clear, released a storm of ice spears into the beast’s bloated midsection.

 

“GWOOOAAAHHH!”

 

The Orc General let out one final, earth-shattering roar before its enormous frame crumpled, collapsing in a heap of broken muscle and fury. The adventurers held their breath as the body shuddered violently, its life force draining away, until it finally dissolved into nothing.

 

“Phew, that’s one down,” Fieda murmured, wiping his brow.

“Oh, we’ve got meat! Looks like… tenderloin!” Ize said, grinning as she pointed.

“Nice! Let’s make some cutlet rice bowls!” Hal chimed in.

“Seriously, you two are WAY too carefree. And how many times do I have to tell you to stop yelling those ridiculous attack calls?”

Ize shrugged nonchalantly. “But they’re satisfying.”

“Exactly. Comes out naturally, too,” Hal agreed.

“…By the way, Hal, what about your incantations?” Fieda asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

“Ah… Well, it’s kinda…”

 

Hal’s face flushed, and his gaze flitted nervously to the side.

As Ize delicately stored the precious tenderloin in her Magic Bag, she took it upon herself to answer for him.

 

“So, there was this one time,” she began, “he shouted ‘w-w-wotah!’ and ended up casting wind magic instead.”

“Wha–! You noticed!?”

“Not only did he look completely mortified while chanting, but the spell was totally the wrong element. I nearly collapsed from shock. Honestly, I’m amazed we survived that fight against that Serpent.”

“Ngh…! Look, I just CAN’T do chants! It’s impossible!”

“If you’re still embarrassed about it, then you’re not a true edgelord,” Ize teased. “True darkness consumes the heart, making one indifferent to outside judgment…”

“I’M NOT LIKE THAT!”

“Uh, Ize,” Fieda interrupted, “I have no idea what you’re even talking about, but Hal looks like he’s suffering, so maybe ease up?”

Ize blinked and shrugged. “If he’s suffering, it’s not because of a curse, but the consequences of…” Ize trailed off when Fieda shot her a sharp look. “…Uh, okay, okay, I’ll stop.”

 

Hal, looking as though he’d just taken a devastating blow to his MP, swayed slightly as he gathered the rest of the scattered loot.

 

“The area looks clear,” Fieda said. “Let’s head back up to the 40th floor for now.”

“”Got it,”” the others replied in unison.

 

Three months had passed since Fieda joined their party at the end of the previous year. Hal had since been promoted to D-rank during January, and now the trio was inching ever closer to their C-rank capabilities.

Technically, C-rank adventurers could explore the 50th floor, but their current strength fell short, and they were still confined to floors around the 40th.

 

“If we had more attacking options, we could shorten fights,” Fieda remarked. “As we are now, we’d be in serious trouble if another group of enemies joins mid-battle.”

“Guess we’ll have to count on Ize’s Coming-of-Age Ceremony then,” Hal said, winking at her.

“Leave it to me!”

“…That’s not reassuring at all,” Fieda muttered.

“Fieda, that’s just mean.”

 

Fieda’s skills were Sword Mastery and Overview. While Overview was similar to Ize’s Perception — allowing its user to scan vast distances — it provided a bird’s eye view of a specified area instead of detecting things in a certain range around the user. As such, it was considered ideal for travel, while Perception was more suited to Dungeons. As for Sword Mastery, while certainly useful, it was a general skill, so Fieda didn’t qualify as a Double-skilled individual.

 

With Fieda now part of the party, their frontline tactics had improved markedly. He took up the role of both swordsman and tank. Ize disrupted their enemies with her swift maneuvers, all the while wearing down their defenses. Meanwhile, Hal struck the decisive blows. Their approach was flexible, shifting to accommodate the number of enemies they faced, yet the core roles they held remained consistent.

 

“Are there any other materials we need to gather today?” Fieda asked, glancing over at the others.

“Bambush and Fire Magon were delivered last week…” Ize noted.

“And we’ve got Almandorn stocked up for now,” Hal added.

“What about Nepenthes? …Hey, don’t turn away.”

“…Maaaybe we should skip that,” Ize replied with a deadpan voice.

 

Between their battles, they often reviewed their schedules and checked if the Adventurers’ Guild or Ize’s favored supplier, Origin of Thievery, had any ongoing quests available. Bambush were Dungeon-grown bamboo shoots; Fire Magons were, at the end of the day, red mangoes; and Almandorn produced almonds. Each of these Mystic Plants had unique properties — some sprouted fire, while others released pollen that induced sleep. They were, indeed, a far more terrifying breed than any ordinary herb.

But the Nepenthes… that was a different story entirely. Found on the 29th floor, it was a Diocerne counterpart of Earth’s carnivorous pitcher plant. Its mucus was sought after by pharmacists, who used it in potent stomach remedies. There were even quests posted to gather it, but there was a reason both Ize and Hal held a deep aversion to it.

 

“Aww, hell no! That thing’s straight-up INAPPROPRIATE!” Hal exclaimed, his voice thick with distaste.

“I’m sure you’ve got this,” Ize encouraged, but the words lacked much conviction.

“That’s the most half-hearted encouragement I’ve ever heard, Ize!”

Fieda shrugged. “I don’t know what’s so ‘inappropriate’ about it, but if there’s a quest we can do, we’re doing it. It’s on Floor 29, right?”

“Mm-hmm,” Ize confirmed with a nod.

“Then we’ll return to Floor 1 first, then teleport to 30…”

“I REALLY don’t want to go…” Hal muttered.

“Ehh, I’m sure you’ve got this,” Ize said again, this time with a touch more optimism.

 

The Nepenthes was as gruesome as Hal described it — a truly R-rated nightmare plant. It captured prey by spewing digestive fluid or swallowing them whole. Its fluid coming into contact with skin was extremely dangerous, and it even corroded clothing over time. That was the reason Hal dubbed it the “inappropriate” enemy.

When harvesting the plant, Fieda would pry open its massive maw while Ize and Hal worked together to extract the fluid. But last time, Fieda had miscalculated; his grip slipped, and Ize was drenched in the digestive fluid. Hal had promptly used water magic to wash her off, and then she had retreated to the portable bathroom to scrub herself clean. The memory, however, lingered far longer than the water’s touch.

This was why, this time, Hal would handle the task alone.

 

[You’ve got this, Hal! Stay strong! No one wants to watch your clothes melt, probably — but hey, at least someone’s cheering for you!]

 

Ize’s silent prayer to herself was a heartfelt — if distant — show of support.

 

◆

 

The week that followed Fieda’s joining the party was nothing short of a storm.

First, Hal and Ize gave him the full picture. Back in Dukatten, they had only provided a brief, surface-level explanation of their circumstances. Now that they were traveling together, however, they knew that wouldn’t suffice.

And so explain they did: how the Japanese food supplies they carried in their Magic Bags never ran out, the effectiveness of their high-grade Potions, and then there was the Converter, which could not only convert items into money, but also change one region’s currency into another’s. These were the kinds of things they would continue to rely on throughout their journey.

Hal and Ize then went on to detail their skills — how many they had, what they could do — as well as the information they had received from the Goddess herself, and the countless small details that made up their ongoing journey.

The revelations kept coming, and Fieda, poor soul, felt his mind reeling from the overload. His heartbeat stayed steady but his brain was totally overwhelmed.

Then, once the fog lifted, came the inevitable scolding — the lecture that Ize and Hal had long been expecting.

The most prominent targets of his ire were, predictably, the portable bathroom. Then, the following day, when the toilets arrived — well, that only added fuel to the fire.

…They had known this was coming, of course.

Beyond that, his reprimands piled up: how they used Fleet Foot to shave off time on their journeys, how impatient they were in their Dungeon explorations, how reckless they could be with their decisions. The list went on, bringing a relentless barrage of frustrations that he vented without mercy.

 

But despite all his grumbling, when it was all said and done, he finally gave them a simple piece of advice: “As long as you two are enjoying yourselves freely, that’s what matters.”

Ize, clearly moved, couldn’t help but beam at him. “Fieda, you’re so cool!” she said, her voice full of admiration.

 

In return, Fieda gave her a warm smile — but then promptly fed a knuckle sandwich to her head.

 

[Oh c’mon! Why!? Is this… tsundere behavior?]

 

Then, Fieda insisted on seeing the portable bathroom for himself. Hal and Ize took him to a relatively safe area within the Dungeon to show him how it worked, and when Fieda saw it, his expression was one of complete disbelief.

And, for reasons none of them could quite understand, he scolded them again.

It wasn’t until later, after all the explanations and awkward moments, that Hal took matters into his own hands. He shoved Fieda into the tub, gave him a thorough scrubbing, and — just like that — the grime-covered old man emerged clean and fresh. Not that anyone in the immediate vicinity was clamoring for such a transformation, but still, he was surely better off this way.

 

◆

 

“Hal, Ize, Fieda! Welcome back!”

“”Good evening, Miss Etta!”” they greeted with warm smiles.

 

After returning to the inn and changing into fresh clothes, they gathered in the dining hall, where the evening bustle had begun to pick up.

They’d been exploring all day, and while they would have preferred a nice, long bath, they had decided to eat first. At this hour, if they delayed too long, the dining hall would become too crowded.

The inn, Sage’s Table, had recently become something of a local fad. Rumors of its exquisite meat dishes were spreading quickly, and even non-guests were coming just to have a taste of the food.

The big draws were, obviously, Mystic Boar hot pot and braised Orc-pork belly.

Hal had provided the seasonings for several of Etta’s dishes, and in return, she had promised to refund nearly half of their lodging costs when they ended their stay at the inn.

The generosity seemed almost too good to be true, but given how hard-to-obtain Hal’s ingredients were, and considering that he had also shared tips and techniques for preparing Japanese cuisine from the Sage’s recipes, Etta’s gratitude made perfect sense.

It was truly thanks to Hal’s cooperation that Sage’s Table had become such a success — and that they got to enjoy such good food.

 

“Hot pot season is over, huh…” Ize mused.

“Yeah,” Hal agreed. “Around this time, bamboo shoot rice would be nice.”

“Tempura sounds good too.”

“It is getting warmer,” Fieda remarked, before turning to Ize with an amused glint in his eye. “Oh, and you’ll be an adult soon, Ize.”

Ize raised an eyebrow. “Fieda, what’s with that look? If you have something to say, just spit it out.”

Fieda made a disapproving groan. “You’re not supposed to say ‘spit it out’ at the dinner table, you know.”

“Well, you literally just said it yourself…”

 

Fieda sighed in exasperation.

Then, as if on cue, Hal leaned in with a teasing grin.

 

“Ize, I’ve read Fieda’s mind. Trust me, you’re better off not knowing.”

“I swear, Hal, you’re spouting nonsense again!”

“…Well, want me to tell you?”

“Ehh… I’ll pass.”

“Good choice.”

 

As they settled into their meal, they began casually discussing their plans for the days ahead.

Even with Fieda in the party, their routine remained largely the same: two days of Dungeon exploration followed by a rest day. On those rest days, they would exchange loot from their latest excursions, deliver materials to their contracted shops, and then do whatever they pleased.

For Ize and Hal, that usually meant seeking out books or indulging in good food. Fieda, on the other hand, took Hiro, his horse, out for a run outside the city and prepared a personal horsebus for future travels.

 

“I think I found a good horse. I’m going to check it out,” Fieda mentioned.

“Ooh, Hiro’s finally getting a partner!” Hal grinned.

“Do they seem compatible?” Ize asked, highly curious.

“I’ve had them meet once already — no bad signs as far as I could see. The new one’s a bit bigger than Hiro, but his balance seems fine. Also…”

 

He paused for a moment.

Hal and Ize tilted their heads, clueless as to what he was thinking. Fieda finally gave a wry smile and said,

 

“We can’t have you two sitting in the horsebus the whole time, so… I figured you should learn to ride, too.”

 

…Wait.

 

[What exactly did he mean by that?]