Chapter 198, Because I Cannot Lie (5)

Translator: Hedge

Editor: Lizzz

 

Kalian suddenly had a thought.

 

That remarkable ice Mage who left phantom pain that still occasionally ached in one corner of his chest was probably a Sixth-Circle Mage.

 

No, he must have been.

 

He had to be.

 

“Your Highness.”

 

Only if he had reached a level where he would not get drunk no matter how much he drank could he have managed well under Plants and then stood before Bern. Otherwise, before the war even began, he would have gotten drunk and caused trouble under Plants, resulting in being cut off from Valkan, losing his neck, or having something else cut off.

 

At least the fortunate thing was that because Kalian knew very well how capable Arsene was, he still had no intention of cutting anything off yet. The slightly unfortunate thing was that for the same reason, he also had no intention of cutting him off from Valkan yet.

 

In any case, Kalian was now sitting on the stairs leading into Wilhelm Hall with Arsene seated beside him. If anyone saw Kalian sitting on stairs that others walked on, they would be shocked, but since there was no one in Wilhelm Hall at this hour, there was no need to worry about it.

 

*Growl*

 

And he was trying not to pay attention to the rather unfamiliar sound coming from his stomach. After all, it was his birthday, but because the first thing he received upon opening his eyes was a Raphtania paper flower, he realized once again that he hadn’t been able to eat anything properly all day. Kalian spoke as if he had given up completely.

 

“Yes. I’m listening.”

 

“You see, Your Highness. I didn’t intend to whine this much.”

 

If one were to find one more fortunate thing, it would be that Kalian understood very well why people would go so far as to drink themselves into becoming walking trash. And one more unfortunate thing would be that Kalian was currently listening to a story being repeated for the third time.

 

“At least it’s fortunate that you know that, Lord Hertz.”

 

In simple terms, Kalian, who had endured this three times, gave a deep sigh-like response and began quietly counting on his fingers to determine who to blame at this moment.

 

[First, the bastard who discovered barley. I would start with that bastard. And then the bastard who planted barley, the bastard who started growing barley, the bastard who grew barley well and left it behind, the bastard who thought about what to do with the remaining barley, the son of a bitch who made alcohol from the remaining barley.]

 

[Right. Those sons of beeeches were at fault.]

 

“So that’s why I’ve been telling you since last time, Your Highness. I didn’t want you, as Deputy Commander, to drain everything in your hands trying to save you, Your Highness.”

 

“I’m not such a greedy or attached person. Why doesn’t everyone know that? And I’m not someone who lives so recklessly either, but somehow it seems people don’t know that well either.”

 

Still, he didn’t completely fail to understand Arsene. Although it seemed like he might go crazy and spin around a couple of times, for now he answered like this.

 

“But I understand that you, as Deputy Commander, didn’t like that either and sent me away like that today, Your Highness. But the problem is I can’t actually do as I please, Your Highness.”

 

And Arsene said what he had to say. Watching him act as if he couldn’t hear anything, not so much having a conversation as just taking things out of his head in order, Kalian covered his face with one hand and swallowed his words.

 

“Ah… what should I do…”

 

[Who made my underling like this? Who the hell is that bastard who made beer?] He swallowed down what might have been words or curses.

 

“Lord Hertz.”

 

Kalian, who until now had never particularly resented anyone except Serenty, called out to Arsene while pouring out all kinds of curses toward the bastard who made beer, then continued speaking.

 

“Because I can’t lie well, I’ve been living while getting caught about this and that quite a lot. But there’s one thing people don’t know well about me.”

 

The twenty-nine-year-old Mage who had been chased out after arguing with the Second Prince, who was thirteen years younger than him, then drank with a Half-Elf Knight ten years younger, and was now making a drunken scene in front of the Third Prince, who was fourteen years younger. Well, currently thirteen years younger, as he looked at Kalian.

 

“Actually, I think about it every day. Even though I’ve resolved countless times not to think that way, every time I open my eyes in the morning, move around, think, and fall asleep again, I habitually have the same thought.”

 

Having said that, Kalian looked at Arsene for a moment.

 

Looking at that face that was clearly still out of it, Kalian quietly continued his next words.

 

“Who am I?”

 

In front of someone who had lost his mind from drinking, someone who had lost his mind without drinking pulled out his inner thoughts like that.

 

“When someone asks, I naturally answer ‘Kalian.’ I myself think that’s the natural answer. But when I reconsider once more whether that’s really true, there are moments from time to time when I suddenly don’t know. Still, like a habit.”

 

It was a habit because it does not change easily.

 

Even though he resolves every day, such thoughts come to him without him knowing, so it could not be helped that it has become a habit.

 

“On days like this, I sometimes want to see the stars falling blue. And I still miss the fishy smell from that small sea.”

 

Knowing that a drunk Arsene wouldn’t remember even after hearing all this, Kalian continued with words that Arsene wouldn’t fully understand.

 

“There are times when I wonder if someone like me should be standing in this position, if I’m qualified. When such sudden whims arise, who should I think I am? Is it really okay for me to consider myself Kalian? No matter how much I think about it, I don’t know the answer. Honestly, I can’t even ask anyone about this. There would have to be someone else who went through something like this for me to ask or not.”

 

Speaking of an uncommon experience that no one else would have gone through, he recalled in his mind an uncommon dream.

 

After that, he laughed silently, only exhaling wind.

 

Even in his confused state, Arsene realized that now was the time to listen to Kalian’s story, so he did not contradict Kalian’s words and waited for the next words.

 

“…I thought I might not be able to find an answer even if my whole life passed, and I thought I might not be able to fully replace that child’s life. I wanted to reassure him more, but I just couldn’t lie. But he said it was okay.”

 

Kalian slightly touched his black hair, which was both unfamiliar and familiar. After that, he looked down at his hands glowing white for a moment, then opened his mouth again.

 

“That child gave me permission like that. But I’m actually not okay with it. No matter how much I think about it with my head, I wonder how that could possibly be okay. So, I’m still curious. It has become like a habit.”

 

Having concluded his words like this, Kalian muttered “But why did I bring this up?” then opened his mouth as if remembering.

 

“I owe too much to give up greed and live without regrets. I really have to live well. So, I have to be greedy and have regrets, and I can’t be someone who lives recklessly emptying everything out. So even if it sometimes looks like I’m emptying everything out, I’d appreciate it if you could believe a little that I’m not living by giving up everything. Would that be difficult?”

 

Arsene, who had been staring blankly at Kalian with stupid eyes as if covered in hazy fog, grinned once more. As Kalian looked at that sight and wondered whether he should hope Arsene’s memory would remain by tomorrow morning or pray for the blessing of forgetfulness.

 

“You’re human after all, Your Highness.”

 

Arsene said this.

 

And then he raised his finger and pointed at the Prince’s face, saying.

 

“My Master said so, Your Highness. Someone who’s gone crazy from thinking too much is crazy because they’re human, so if I’m going to follow someone crazier than me anyway, follow someone who’s crazy from thinking too much. So, I chose the right person after all. My Master would really like this.”

 

Pointing at the Prince’s face and calling him crazy. Could this happen without a madman truly going mad?

 

With this thought, Kalian chuckled and stood up.

 

From experience, he knew very well that even if someone fell asleep leaning against the stairs all night on a midsummer night, their mouth would not get twisted. So, Kalian brushed off his clothes first with leisurely movements. Then, looking down carefully at Arsene’s nape, which seemed to have a bruise, he opened his mouth in a light tone.

 

“I heard you well, Lord Hertz.”

 

He hoped the memory would remain, but if it did, tomorrow morning he would probably be kneeling with his hands up in front of Chermil Palace with a resignation letter laid down. No matter what, he was a proper Deputy Commander of Valkan, so Kalian could not let that happen.

 

*Thud!*

 

He still had to make good use of him for a long time.

 

* * *

 

Although he must have been called out late, the care was the same.

 

On the beef steak grilled just right for eating, mushroom sauce simmered in wine was nicely placed. The taste of the roasted duck breast and the fig puree that came with it was excellent, and the butter scent wafting from the well-roasted potatoes was good too. He almost laughed for a moment because of the color of the soup with boiled peas in it, but anyway, that also tasted good.

 

“They told me to rest for a day at the main house.”

 

Watching Kalian say these words along with asking to convey thanks to the chef, Ian grinned.

 

“Later. Not today.”

 

Today, Ian had not once told Kalian happy birthday. Knowing that he had worried him again despite trying so hard not to show it, Kalian said thank you with an apologetic face. Ian, who already felt like he had rested for a day just from those words, went outside with Rerik.

 

Actually, he had thought about just going straight to the third floor to sleep, but thinking about it, didn’t the older brother sitting over there say something? He said to take care of Arsene.

 

The person with many thoughts would not have eaten properly all day either, and Kalian, who had become full of thoughts, who could not eat at all. So, in the end, they came to have a meal like this again.

 

Kalian, who was looking at the various dishes placed on the table, showed a slightly surprised expression as his gaze fell on the stew placed at the very end. Because what he would say was clearly on his face, Plants opened his mouth first.

 

“No.”

 

‘It was not something I ordered.’

 

Whether it was a lie or not, he did not know, but anyway, Kalian, who felt good, nodded and readily answered.

 

“Okay.”

 

And then he enthusiastically ate the mussel stew boiled with eggplant and zucchini in tomato sauce. Since Plants, who would be picky about food anyway, wouldn’t eat it, he ate it all by himself without holding back.

 

Plants, who finished his meal with a little roasted duck, a few completely cooked steak pieces, and a little salad without paprika, looked at Kalian, who was eating lots of shellfish and meat and potatoes and even honey-soaked chestnuts, as if disgusted.

 

Although he had released the Spell that concealed his Aura, he was still very hungry, so what could he do? Therefore, Kalian completely ignored Plants, who was looking at him with eyes wondering whether he was human or beast, and filled his stomach to his heart’s content.

 

Toward Kalian, who had finished a satisfying meal as usual, Plants opened his mouth.

 

“I think His Majesty probably paid attention to it.”

 

A casual tone.

 

A low voice that was no different from usual.

 

“…You probably didn’t know.”

 

Still short words with no proper connection between head, tail, and body. Hearing those words, Kalian nodded slightly and answered.

 

“Yes, probably.”

 

Raphtania paper flower.

 

It was something he said because no matter how he thought about it, he felt it must have been Rmain’s doing.

 

He had said he wouldn’t go to excessive lengths by deliberately recalling Reunieri Flowers, and Kalian, who was already busy as the host of today’s banquet, couldn’t have personally paid attention to that extent, and Allan, who knew Kalian, wouldn’t have meddled thoughtlessly to that degree. So, it must have been Rmain.

 

It meant that cow-like Rmain seemed to have only thought about making sure the flowers did not have fragrance this time.

 

Kalian, who was staring at Plants, opened his mouth.

 

“Were you concerned about it?”

 

[No wonder he had been thoroughly ‘boiled’ all day. It seems like he was concerned that because of him, my received birthday congratulations came with lifeless flowers.]

 

Whether he thought of the current Kalian or the old Kalian, neither would have accepted it as a meaning of celebration.

 

“I’m not young enough to worry about such things.”

 

And then, pointing to an empty plate, he spoke again.

 

“And I’m at an age where I prefer this over flowers. So, stop worrying over nothing.”

 

Looking at the plate that had been completely cleaned without a single shellfish remaining, Plants replied with emphasis, as if wanting to ask how old he would have to be to prefer shellfish stew over flowers.

 

“I said no.”

 

Even if he could not lie, that did not mean he could not recognize someone who was lying.

 

“I ate well. Thanks to my older brother paying good attention.”

 

Like this, Kalian, who had barked once as a birthday greeting, smiled brightly.