Chapter 230, Whose Son I Am (3)

Translator: Hedge

Editor: Lizzz

 

Contradiction.

 

Different perspectives on one situation.

 

Syspanian, who tried to understand everything, and who therefore fully understood Kalian’s painful insides, had said to feel just a little wronged because while she herself was sad about not being forgotten, it was difficult for her to understand someone being sad about being forgotten.

 

Contradiction. What even Syspanian couldn’t fully understand. But what Kalian understood.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

What his younger sister came to confirm by seeking him out, did Ian not know?

 

After coming as the Duke’s eldest son to interrupt the Prince and Lesser Duchess’s conversation and dragging his younger sister away, what more did they discuss? What expression did he make?

 

Does he still not know about him?

 

“No.”

 

Instead of continuing complex thoughts again, Kalian answered with a small laugh.

 

“I’m not alright.”

 

Ian’s face, which had come to find Kalian after Dmirea left and was examining his complexion, turned as white as warm milk.

 

When he said he was alright, Ian did not believe it, but he immediately believed when he said he was not alright. It was truly amusing, so Kalian’s laughter grew a bit louder.

 

“Did Rea say something? Was she rude?”

 

“That’s not it. Don’t worry.”

 

Having dismissed it like this, Kalian stared at Ian for a moment.

 

Again, he had become Siroian.

 

However, unlike before, this time he had only become Siroian because he needed ‘someone who could scold the Lesser Duchess of Siegfried.’

 

“Then why earlier…”

 

Kalian, who had almost asked why he had become Siroian earlier, closed his mouth.

 

Was it right that he became Siroian to interrupt Dmirea and his conversation? Or had he come to interrupt while he was at it after becoming Siroian? Setting aside the renewed question, he just shook his head slightly and brought up something else.

 

“I’m not alright for a different reason, so don’t blame Dmirea.”

 

“That’s a relief. But why aren’t you alright?”

 

Because he was still Siroian, he was a bit different from Ian, who did not ask first about things Kalian did not specifically mention.

 

Feeling that, Kalian answered without showing any particular sign.

 

“I just got tired. Maybe because I couldn’t sleep.”

 

“See? I told you to rest. I’ll clear your afternoon schedule, so when you go in, don’t do anything and rest.”

 

Again, Ian.

 

Ian who suspected nothing.

 

Kalian, who had not asked about Ian’s affairs, said something out of the blue while looking at Ian who didn’t suspect his affairs.

 

“The more I think about it, you’re really amusing.”

 

“Me? I’m amusing?”

 

“Yes. Amusing.”

 

“That’s a relief.”

 

Ian’s eyes sparkled, liking it without even wondering what was amusing about him.

 

“There’s no one who likes being called amusing as unconditionally as you.”

 

“If Your Highness finds me amusing even though you’re having a hard time, that’s good. Does it need a reason?”

 

He thought he understood why Sleiman had given the name Ian to a dog in Siegfried Territory. Even though it seemed too much to use a child’s nickname as a dog’s name, when he recalled Harts-ara, a newly built Palace boldly named after a son who had many days ahead living in that Palace, it was strangely understandable.

 

Harts-ara and Kythros, the first Duke of Siegfried, were said to be close friends. Don’t they say friends come to resemble each other?

 

‘Should I name a dog Sleiman when I go to Camilon?’

 

Kalian, who was having thoughts that Syspanian would click her tongue at, saying he was spouting irrational words again, intending to repay Ian’s deed, made a laugh like ice in mint tea.

 

“Alright, I’ll rest today. It had too many thoughts. Just warm me a glass of milk.”

 

Having conveyed words he had almost been unable to say forever, Kalian made a pleased expression.

 

“Should I put honey in it?”

 

“No. Just milk without anything sweet.”

 

“Yes. I’ll bring it right away. And while you were talking, Knight Bern came looking for you. I told him to wait in Your Highness’s room, but I’ll tell him to come again later.”

 

“Kyrie came at this hour?”

 

[Isn’t Kyrie someone who rarely comes at times like this?] Therefore, Kalian shook his head and said.

 

“I’ll go talk with him first, so take your time.”

 

“Understood.”

 

Knowing that conversation with Kyrie would not bring Kalian additional fatigue, Ian answered obediently and parted with Kalian.

 

There seemed to have been too many thoughts churning through his mind in a short time. Feeling momentarily feverish, Kalian pressed his forehead briefly before entering his room.

 

Kyrie, with his blue hair and tall stature, stood before the sofa, paid his respects, and immediately spoke.

 

“Why did you just thank the Lesser Duchess without saying anything else?”

 

“You should say what you came for first. Kyrie.”

 

Trying not to wound Kyrie’s neck during sparring and overlooking discourtesy were different things. Therefore, Kalian scolded Kyrie in a gentle voice.

 

At Kalian’s pointing out, which did not let anything pass carelessly, Kyrie bowed his head to show apology.

 

“I apologize. I came to express my gratitude because of this.”

 

Having said this, Kyrie showed the bracelet on his wrist. Since it was something he had personally asked Allan for, Kalian, who could not possibly fail to recognize it, asked welcomingly.

 

“You like the gift?”

 

“Yes. I like it very much. I told Hina to visit and thank Your Highness directly after work. But more than that…”

 

Kyrie, who knew Hina could now speak, though through an unfamiliar method, had wiped around his eyes quickly after sending Hina away and came to find Kalian to express gratitude.

 

And he heard.

 

“Why didn’t you just explain to the Lesser Duchess instead?”

 

So he asked.

 

Why did he not explain instead of just listening to Dmirea’s pressing questions?

 

“Explain what?”

 

Looking at Kalian, who asked as if genuinely not knowing, Kyrie opened his mouth again.

 

“Why did Your Highness allow yourself to end up in this situation? If you’d explained, the Lesser Duchess would have understood. To deliberately say she’d bury it with such words to Your Highness…”

 

“Why should I receive understanding?”

 

Kyrie made an expression of being at a loss for words. Kalian’s face became smiling as he opened his mouth again.

 

“I don’t recall committing a wrong to Dmirea that I need to explain and receive understanding for. Kyrie.”

 

Ian had said that.

 

He told him to reduce his apologies.

 

Though he had said he disliked it, he had not answered that he would go around carelessly throwing out apologies either.

 

“Dmirea said such words because Ian is more important to her. And I heard such words because I’m more important to myself.”

 

Watching Kyrie’s eyes become ones that did not understand what he meant, Kalian continued as if explaining.

 

“Dmirea is someone who values Ian more importantly than the reasons I have, and I’m someone for whom my own reasons are more important. Whatever the reason, I’m the one who pierced the body of a person who was everything to Ian, and I’m the one who hid that fact. On my own, without giving Ian a chance to properly overcome such a fact after knowing it. While covering his eyes with words that he could only see what he wanted to see about me.”

 

“But wasn’t that a choice you made for the public’s sake?”

 

“As you know, Ian is a person I need. If I package it nicely, it’s for Ian’s sake, but ultimately it’s for my own sake. Dmirea knew that, so she just reminded me to have a sense of debt not to herself but to Ian. What we value as important is different, so I don’t know why Dmirea should need to properly know me and understand me.”

 

“Don’t you remember being threatened?”

 

“Ah… that’s right. So how deep-thinking my betrothed is.”

 

Having said this with sincerity rather than sarcasm, Kalian sat on the sofa and continued.

 

“If I were Dmirea, instead of coming to ask and warn, I would have taken Ian back to Siegfried Territory, come back, and just killed the strange bastard who had been deceiving my flesh and blood. Not knowing what scheme or method he used to take over this body, not knowing whether what he’s saying is true or not. Why bother listening to explanations? I’d just kill him.”

 

“That’s contradictory.”

 

Having broadly understanding sympathy for what he himself suffered, yet not needing Dmirea’s understanding. Was that not a contradiction?

 

Confusion appeared on Kyrie’s face. Like Syspanian, who had not understood the contradiction.

 

“…It sounds like I’m saying I feel wronged because she doesn’t know me. Don’t you even know that.”

 

Kalian laughed. As he had before Syspanian.

 

“If I don’t understand everything and just accumulate grievances here and there, what becomes of my life? Even while embracing everything and struggling, I prefer to breathe and live. Because I can protect what I lost. Like Hina.”

 

Having said that, Kalian made a gentle face looking at Kyrie’s bracelet. The thing that contained his younger sister’s voice. Kyrie surely liked it very much. Of course, Kalian did too.

 

“So, I only feel a little wronged because of Serenty. So even if you treat me as a crazy person living painfully, don’t make me into a pitiful person feeling wronged even about things there’s nothing to feel wronged about. Kyrie.”

 

Instead of answering that he was sorry for his hasty words, Kyrie smiled slightly and nodded. Because he now knew that Kalian would not want him to feel sorry even for what he had thought.

 

Kalian laughed. Like someone who’d washed away a big worry.

 

“The secret won’t be revealed anymore. It seems a bit late since everyone who would know already knows, but having been burned once, I’ve come to my senses.”

 

He spoke as if relieved, with determination.

 

“I must have felt too wronged.”

 

[Serenty. Since my first life was entirely stolen by you. My second life will absolutely not be stolen. Since I still have much to protect, I’ll protect it all. Ian too, Hina too, Kyrie too, Randel’s heart too, the pea who just gets annoyed when told to live too, Chase who I’m just grateful to and sorry for too. The old Kalian’s body too and Bern’s soul too.]

 

[All those promises, and me too.]

 

“I should live feeling just a little wronged. That way I’ll have strength left to vent at Serenty later when we meet.”

 

Kalian stretched as if yawning and headed toward the bedroom. And then he slipped right into bed and looked at Kyrie.

 

“If you have nothing to do, guard me for a bit. Don’t let anyone wake me. I want to sleep soundly.”

 

Especially so that the now quite greenish boiled pea wouldn’t come spinning around and disturb even his long-awaited sound sleep.

 

That was exactly the meaning, so Kyrie answered with a face that understood very well.

 

“Yes. Understood.”

 

Kalian nodded as if grateful and drank well the warm milk brought by the precious Baby Elephant, who returned soon after.

 

“Sleep soundly. Don’t worry about other things.”

 

“Alright. Thank you.”

 

It was warm, soft, and drowsiness came.

 

Kalian smiled cheerfully.

 

* * *

 

It was not very grand.

 

They did not erect a crystal screen in the plaza, didn’t send out the Capital security forces and Royal Forces to monitor outside. They did not install a platform in the plaza.

 

Just like when they brought Freya into the Palace, the ennoblement ceremony was also simplified in its procedures and conducted within the palace.

 

[Well, there was Sillike’s incident and it hasn’t even been a year yet. So, there’s nothing good about making it too noisy.]

 

That was Kalian’s opinion on this matter.

 

In truth, it was words from a heart wishing to hold the ennoblement ceremony as soon as possible. Because if there were many things to prepare, the date the ceremony would be held would be pushed back that much.

 

Instead of listening to those words, Rmain did not restrict the Nobles’ participation. And he designated Siegfried Hall as the location where the ceremony would be held.

 

“For official events that aren’t banquets, we usually use Senu Hall, but it’s unusual to use Siegfried Hall this time.”

 

“It seems His Majesty has been thinking a lot lately.”

 

Could there be another place as good for bringing to mind the relationship between Siegfried and Kalian?

 

Therefore, Kalian, who barely succeeded in packaging with very good words after deliberately suppressing the words ‘His Majesty does seem to be thinking lately,’ looked at the mirror.

 

[…Oh Kalian.]

 

Perhaps because it was before Freya’s ennoblement ceremony.

 

He thought of the child he could barely meet only after entering the dream, on the day he dreamed the first dream.

 

Having looked for a long while at the face that had changed a lot from the day he saw in the dream, thanks to eating well and growing tall, Kalian quietly opened his mouth.

 

“I used to hate mirrors.”

 

At these words that suddenly came out, Ian answered with surprise.

 

“How unusual for you to speak of those times.”

 

“Right? I do sometimes these days. Thinking about it, I even told my Master of those events. I wonder if I’ve matured.”

 

He laughed slightly and continued.

 

“I don’t remember well whether I hated them because I disliked resembling my Mother or whether there was a reason I hated it besides it showing myself.”

 

At those words, Ian made a momentarily heavy face.

 

Ian had also seen Freya’s portrait. Though they could not enter the Hall of Memory, anyone visiting Arpia Palace could see the replicated portraits there. Therefore, Ian knew very well how much Kalian resembled Freya.

 

“…Whatever it was. There’s nothing to worry about now.”

 

Having murmured softly as if to himself or not, Kalian looked at his reflection in the mirror and spoke once more.

 

[Congratulations. Though late, you’ve finally been freed from the bonds of bloodline. And…]

 

Kalian had no doubt that child would surely like it too. As Kalian was recalling the Old Kalian like this, Merlin’s voice called him out.

 

“Preparation is complete, Your Highness. You look good today as well.”

 

The clothes and accessories that Satinn, the costume coordinator who received Kalian’s order, made with all her strength. At finally seeing what he had so longed for, Merlin seemed quite satisfied.

 

While looking at the mirror once more, Ian did the final check.

 

By now, Randel would have finished his meaningless meeting with Gray Beurisen and entered Siegfried Hall. The other Nobles too, all the same. Even Evan Beurisen, who would not want to lose out by entering late like last time, would have hurried inside.

 

“Shall I go too now?”

 

A jacket that fits perfectly as always. But the ceremonial robe with unfamiliar decorations instead of the usual embroidery or buttons was more awkward than the apricot-colored jacket and white pants.

 

Kalian liked it that much more.

 

“To overturn everything.”

 

Both his situation and Evan’s insides.

 

Having spoken with a grin, Kalian looked at the mirror once more.

 

And then he conveyed again to the red eyes meeting his gaze the words he hadn’t finished earlier.

 

[Thank you.]

 

Kalian moved his gaze.

 

[For understanding.]

 

The not-yet-fully-grown feet moved.

 

The long crimson cloak, covered with red gem powder and endlessly sparkling, billowed and followed behind.