Chapter 167, At the End-of-the-Year Confessional_1 (:Navy)

Translator: Nonon

Proofreader: Silavin

 

POV: Cyan

 

“Kuh— forgive me for I am a sinner who committed a mistake because I wanted to be closer to my Husband.”

“I-is that so?”

 

The end of the year.

On a snowy day that would have been too cold without the church’s protection, which always maintained a comfortable temperature, I was receiving a confession from Io – I mean, an anonymous married woman – in the confessional room.

Usually this is the Father’s job, but because he will be away until evening, so I am doing his job instead.

On such a morning, Io— Mrs. V (pseudonym) had unusually come for a confession instead of the usual advice.

Apparently, Mrs. V was very keen on getting close to her Husband, but due to the combination of shyness, timing, and personality, she had missed the opportunity to close the gap between them. Furthermore, she felt like Cl- her Husband was avoiding her somehow. However, she understood that her Husband was avoiding her not because he disliked her, but because he was also embarrassed. In the end, since they both avoided each other, they had been unable to interact properly.

 

“Well, that’s what’s cute about him though.”

“I thought you were here to repent?”

 

I hope Mrs. V here didn’t come to repent just to brag about her love affairs.

Anyway, after feeling frustrated and finally even lying to get close to him, her Son caught a cold instead. He’s showing signs of recovery now and is completely fine, but Mrs. V came to confess, thinking that what happened might have been because of her scheming thoughts.

 

“What should… what should I do…!? I was advised that if I fell ill, we would be together all the time and I was drawn to his charms even though I thought it was inappropriate. All while Gray suffered so much…!”

“Confessions are anonymous.”

 

Most likely it was either Burnie or Ambee who gave her that advice. Considering her personality and gender, I’d say it was Ambee. She likes to talk about vulgar things.

In any case, I’m sure Mrs. V herself did not intend to actually carry out the plan. She might have been attracted by the allure of having her husband by her side all the time, but she must have thought ‘my husband wouldn’t like me doing something like that’.

 

“I’m sorry… I want to repent for the sake of my Son who fell sick because of my foolishness.”

 

However, she really did feel attracted to that idea, which made her feel guilty so she came here to confess. Her thinking was adorable, since nobody would know about her thoughts if she didn’t say anything, but she’s still stubborn in weird ways.

 

“Your repentance has been delivered to theLord.”

“Will I be forgiven?”

“Yes, you will.”

 

Well, if this can bring her some relief, then it’s fine.

I too am a believer of God. It makes me happy to see lost souls being saved.

 

 

“… By the way, would it be okay if I asked for advice too? We can continue like this.”

“Yes, that’s fine.”

 

Huh, there’s still something she wants to talk about?

But maybe the fact that she wants to continue talking in the confessional means that she doesn’t actually want my input? Perhaps she just wants me to hear her out.

 

“… what should I do to get closer to the person I like?”

 

Just get married already! Ah, they already are.

They’re plenty close enough in my opinion though.

 

“…What do you mean?”

“There is someone I like.”

“Yes, well, I know that.”

“But even though I’m overflowing with feelings of love, I feel like I’m just going round in circles.”

 

She finally realized it…

 

“I want you to teach me how to get closer to the person I love without aimlessly running in circles.”

 

I am the one who wants to know.

If something like that existed, I would have used it on the Father a long time ago.

If such a universal theory existed, maybe even the Father, who would literally risk his life to save others, would notice me.

 

“… I don’t want the person I love to separate from me anymore. The person I love…”

 

Well, Mrs. V, I mean Io, doesn’t seem to be very good at expressing her feelings of love. But I still find it heartwarming that she likes Clo enough to come and ask me advice like this.

I’m jealous of Clo. I’ll have a fight with him later to get revenge.

Still… if there’s one I can say about her question, it’s this.

 

“Well, if there’s one thing I can say, it’s that love isn’t a beautiful emotion.”

 

I changed from the confessional mode to my usual tone.

Mrs. V didn’t seem to realize what I was saying, but she paused as if she was wondering about something.

Since I wasn’t trying to preach, I continued speaking as if I was talking to myself.

 

“The word ‘love’ is often glorified, but sometimes it can even turn into insanity. It’s like a sudden assault for the person who’s the recipient of that love, because we tend to think that if we love somebody, the other person must respond to that feeling with sincerity.”

 

People wouldn’t have it rough if showing affection to somebody was always reciprocated with the same affection.

The moment you lose your head to the feeling of love and give up thinking, you will suffer a harsh backlash.

“What’s truly terrifying about it is the illusion that you can justify yourself.”

“Justify yourself?”

“Yeah, it’s thinking that the feeling of love isn’t wrong, so it’s the person who doesn’t accept it who’s wrong.”

 

That’s why the feeling of love can turn into violence.

You end up hurting the ‘person you love’ with the violence born from innocent goodwill.

 

“…”

“Oh, but it’s not like I’m denying your feelings or anything. I’m just saying to not use love as an excuse. After all, love is originally a wonderful thing.”

 

It’s like how even the medicine can become poisonous if taken in excess.

It can easily become something wonderful, beautiful, and good, but it’s not pretty.

Simply put–

 

“You just want me to know that there are other ways of thinking too, right?”

“Well, I guess so.”

 

As Mrs. V just said, it’s simply a matter of not wanting people to be trapped in a certain way of thinking.

 

“You’re right, even if love is my guiding principle, it alone can’t do anything. … I have to do what I think is best, even if it ends up being a failure. But if I’m ever troubled again, I want you to give me advice.”

“Yes, I’m always available to give advice if you are fine with me. I will answer anything I can on behalf of God.”

“Yeah, I’m counting on you. –Okay, thank you. I feel more positive now.”

“Hehe, actually I didn’t give you any specific advice.”

“Hmm? …Ah, you’re right…!”

 

When Mrs. V realized that all I had said was to not to misread things the wrong way, we both felt strange and started laughing.

A voice that normally wouldn’t resonate here echoed in the confessional. …Well, I’m sure God would forgive us for this much, probably.

Anyway, she has to think about it first and then convey her feelings. Thinking alone won’t get the message across, and wishing for something doesn’t necessarily mean it will reach him. Since there are no absolutes, all I can do is be there for her like this.

Even I…

 

“That’s right, I’m also not going to let the feeling of love turn me complacent and relay it to…to… I don’t want to become complacent, but I guess you can’t help the feeling of love…”

“…I get it.”

“…I can’t help understanding it.”

“…Yeah, I’m rooting for you, Cy- Sister.”

“…Thank you, Mrs. Lost Lamb. I’m rooting for you too.”

“…Thank you.”

 

After a strange pause, we naturally split up.

Strangely, for a while I didn’t want to leave the confessional.

 

◆

 

And just as I was about to leave the confessional, another person who wanted to confess came in.

 

“Sister, forgive me for I am a sinner for running away from Lady Vi—my Wife.”

“…”

 

The person who came was Clo… or rather Mr. C (pseudonym).

If you are worried about it, just get married already! Oh wait, they’re already married.