Chapter 189, About Raising a Dog (3)

Translator: Hedge

Editor: Lizzz

 

[Someday I’ll have to do it.] Kalian thought.

 

It was a conversation he had postponed time and time again.

 

Kalian wore an awkward smile as he recalled this matter alone.

 

Allan was the one who knew every single detail of Kalian’s secret without exception, and Rmain was the one who absolutely must never know Kalian’s secret. Of course, the one he hoped would keep the secret hidden until death was Ian.

 

“…Well, this is something.”

 

And then there was the person who made him feel the paradoxical desire that they should know the secret while also absolutely not know it.

 

That person was Arsene.

 

Kalian knew that Arsene would not simply accept the explanation that he merely possessed the memories of a Sword Master, as Rmain believed. It might be rude to Rmain, but Arsene was definitely smarter than him.

 

The blue-hair he had started growing because he was too busy to cut it. Kalian suddenly thought how the short hair from that day was both very different from and yet very similar to now.

 

“Why do you follow me, Lord Hertz?”

 

Kalian, who had been staring quietly at the ends of that hair, asked this question. It was a question he had never asked before.

 

Arsene looked at Kalian without answering immediately. So Kalian continued speaking a bit more.

 

“I have absolutely no memory of doing anything particularly good for you, yet I find it both curious and somehow strange that you follow me to this extent.”

 

If it were because of the black hair and red eyes like the other Mages of Valkan, that could hardly be considered following the current Kalian. The original Kalian. No, the Bern inside him, had never possessed such deep, black, short hair, nor eyes like flames whose fuel was unknown.

 

Clear blue eyes shining straight looked at Kalian. While looking at Kalian with eyes the color of the sky just after sunrise at that small beach in winter, Arsene smiled slightly.

 

“You need not answer today. I will wait, Your Highness.”

 

To the question of why he followed Kalian, Arsene could have answered that it was because Kalian alone fell into the category of ‘good people’, but he simply said only this.

 

Kalian, watching such an Arsene, smiled softly.

 

He understood what thoughts lay behind such words.

 

“This is why I ultimately could not distance myself from Lord Hertz.”

 

Arsene already knew that Kalian had a secret. But if Kalian had not yet decided whether it would be acceptable to tell the details, then rather than pressing, he would simply wait.

 

Kalian fully understood that this was the meaning behind those words. Therefore,

 

“Yes. I should at least give this much of an answer. To the person who ended my breath.”

 

He said this.

 

* * *

 

The scent of mint was sometimes refreshing, sometimes sweet.

 

That scent had somehow become pleasant enough that he could not let go of it.

 

“Ah, come to think of it.”

 

The fingertips of the person who had been murmuring quietly tapped the edge of the teacup. Around the time the small ripples that had risen in the still tea settled, deep violet eyes turned toward Taillan.

 

“I didn’t even think about whether that Mage also knew the truth.”

 

The blue-haired Mage who seemed to follow Kalian’s every words. He had not considered whether that Mage knew about matters concerning Kalian.

 

Seeing Taillan looking at him with an expression asking what nonsense he was talking about now, Chase smiled gently and answered.

 

“I thought that Mage was also trustworthy, so I instructed that if by chance he couldn’t meet Prince Plants, he could deliver a letter to Prince Kalian through that Mage. I didn’t consider whether that Mage knew about Prince Kalian’s past.”

 

It was the sound of only now realizing that he had drawn in Arsene, ‘that Mage,’ without knowing whether he knew the truth about Kalian.

 

Whether or not Arsene knew it as a result of this belated realization, Kalian, who had been spending leisurely time with a cat, was about to demonstrate his talent for getting caught yet again. Chase, who had just realised this continued with a big bright smile.

 

“Hmm. What if he didn’t know?”

 

Of course, recognizing the situation and devising a solution were slightly different matters. Chase, whose face was full of a mind thinking things would work out somehow, smiled slightly.

 

Taillan, who had clearly understood the meaning of “let things be” from Chase’s mouth, asked with a bewildered face.

 

“By ‘that Mage,’ you mean that Mage, don’t you?”

 

The Mage whose name he absolutely could not remember, who was Chase’s younger brother and had been his own Disciple, the Mage who had taken Chase’s last moments. It was a question asking if the Mage named Arsene was indeed that Mage.

 

Even to this vague question, Chase nodded instead of laughing or scolding. He understood it was because Taillan could not bear to speak of that matter with his own mouth and was speaking circuitously.

 

Chase, who answered “that’s right,” added an explanation.

 

“It seemed like he’s repaying it well now, but I didn’t think about whether he knows the content of what he’s repaying.”

 

Having said this, Chase tried to count in his mind who might know Kalian’s secret and gauge whether Arsene was among them, but he soon gave up. It seemed as if Plants’ words that it would be faster to count those who did not know Kalian’s secret were echoing in his ears again.

 

It was Chase’s mistake not to consider it, since it seemed most people around knew the truth.

 

“I also thought it might be better if he knew what he was repaying.”

 

Hearing these words, Taillan lifted the teacup placed before him instead of asking whether it was really a mistake. The scent that was both refreshing and sweet was quite pleasing to Taillan as well.

 

[Isn’t it a fragrance that suits that Third Prince quite well?] He thought.

 

* * *

 

He did not ask why he was smiling.

 

He did not ask why he smiled so.

 

Plants did not try to gauge what was contained in Randel’s smile, or whether anything was contained at all. He did not want to show any more interest in the person who stood far away and only ever watched.

 

Before the person who did not remember past events, he did not speak of remembering all the past events himself.

 

‘Doing both is just greedy.’

 

The story that he should not only blame others as if he had been alone in his pain while turning his eyes away from his own sins. The story that having received many wounds did not make the wounds he had given disappear.

 

Randel, who had been mulling over those words, turned his gaze toward Plants.

 

“How regrettable.”

 

“There is nothing to regret.”

 

To the words that it was regrettable not to be able to do both, Plants answered immediately.

 

Randel, who had been looking down at Plants’ face like that, quietly opened his mouth.

 

“Perhaps you wish to say that I too am like His Majesty?”

 

These were words delivered without hiding his discomfort at being compared to Rmain. Plants, who had been watching such a Randel for a while, slowly opened his mouth.

 

“How do you even think such thoughts?”

 

Randel would understand this much without needing detailed explanation. But Plants bothered to open his mouth and continued speaking.

 

“…Your Highness knows that what you stabbed and what stabbed you are different. What answer should I give when someone who has done more, never less, than Your Highness says such things?”

 

Because at least Rmain did not try to hide behind saying it was unavoidable. Because he did not display the hypocrisy of claiming to be a victim himself.

 

“No one in this Royal Palace is like you, older brother. How fitting for someone who thinks himself alone is unjustly wronged.”

 

There was no need to bother breaking off a rose to wave it before his eyes. Plants already knew that Rmain lay at Randel’s foundation. He also knew well how words saying he was inferior to such a Rmain would sound to Randel.

 

So, he simply substituted what he wanted to say with words Kalian had once spoken.

 

Thanks to this, Randel once again gazed into Plants’ eyes. Though he had always been wary of those eyes, he had never tried to avoid them, so Plants silently met that gaze.

 

Toward Plants’ eyes that now clearly shone with light, Randel asked.

 

“Looking like that, does anything change?”

 

It was the sound of asking why one must see properly when nothing ultimately changes. Does it matter if one sees reality properly or not.

 

Plants smiled.

 

“One only comes to know it when it is already too late.”

 

Knowing those words were not yet finished, Randel remained silent without other words.

 

“One also comes to know it should not have been too late. I do not know what you mean by knowing it is too late.”

 

“But.”

 

Plants raised his hand.

 

Long fingers with somewhat prominent knuckles pointed toward Randel. They pointed not toward eyes that seemed to contain nothing, but toward where the heart lay that would contain many other things.

 

“You will not open it. That you are so curious about.”

 

Randel, who had been quietly watching that fingertip, looked at Plants again. Toward Plants who was very different from the appearance he had known, he spoke in a low voice.

 

“How unexpected. To have such a conversation with you.”

 

Plants gazed into Randel’s eyes.

 

He answered while containing truly many things within them.

 

“I too thought it unexpected. How could I have known that someone who cannot even do such small things would dare try to benefit from my younger sibling’s virtue?”

 

Randel, who received his own words back intact, showed another smile without realizing it. Plants, watching the laughter that continued in a small voice, rose without other explanation.

 

In any case, having said everything that needed to be said, Plants was thinking of getting up and going down when he heard Randel’s voice in his ears.

 

“Tell me before you go. For what purpose have you changed like this?”

 

Bothering to come find Randel and bothering to make such a request.

 

Bothering to return new wounds for the wounds delivered, saying to leave because he did not want to face him, and not leaving but bothering to stand and face him like this.

 

For what purpose was he bothering to act like this?

 

Plants, who had risen from his seat, looked down at Randel’s back as he still sat and spoke in a low voice.

 

“To live. While raising a cat, while breathing.”

 

If they said the third raises a dog.

 

Then the second says he raises a cat.

 

In that case, who should raise this country?

 

Without telling even that much, Plants, having finished what he had to say, walked out step by step.

 

* * *

 

[How many times has it been?]

 

When he was Bern, he could not lie but he had been quite good at hiding things, so how had he come to be unable to even hide such things?

 

[Was it because I was sick of hiding? Or just?]

 

“…Is it because I feel the desire for someone to recognize me? Because somehow I no longer feel much inclined to hide.”

 

Having told the entire story, Kalian said this. Then he moistened his dry mouth with a sip of black tea. His mouth was bitter again, so the black tea tasted like coffee.

 

“Still, I also thought I wanted to hide it from you, and conversely I also wanted to tell you first. I had spent a year with such a mind.”

 

He talked on and on.

 

Without looking at Arsene’s face, he told everything from beginning to end. And still without looking at that face, he drank black tea and pulled over Luci who had approached for no reason.

 

Luci’s fur stuck all over his black clothes and he brushed it off with Magic. Even after doing so, more fur stuck, so he used Mana once more.

 

He spent time uselessly like that. Continuously without looking at Arsene.

 

“Is that really true?”

 

After quite some time had passed, Arsene asked this.

 

Since the story would certainly be unbelievable, it was not incomprehensible that he would ask such a question. So, as Kalian was about to nod, Arsene added,

 

“Do you mean I really worked under the Deputy Commander who is Your Highness’s older brother?”

 

[Wait. Right now…]

 

“Is that what’s unbelievable to you?”

 

Kalian, who had unconsciously spoken completely informally, unconsciously looked at Arsene.

 

Arsene was showing a smile.

 

His face was so different from that day when he had ended the breathing of Bern who was dying all torn apart.

 

He did not say words of thanks for telling the story or that it was an unbelievable tale he found difficult to handle. He did not feel sorry like Allan, did not show anger toward someone like Kyrie, and did not shoulder guilt like Plants.

 

He did not have twisted pride about taking Bern’s last moments. He simply showed a smile with a face never seen before.

 

“I am sorry I could not remember you.”

 

Other than ending his breathing. Other than going to war.

 

He was sorry for not keeping the promised words.

 

He spoke of only this.

 

Kalian, who had been quietly watching such an Arsene, smiled broadly.

 

“How can I do that when you’re like this?”

 

[Really. How can I distance myself from this crazy Mage?]