Chapter 382, Inadequacy

Translator: Barnnn

Editor: Silavin

 

She had wanted to become an Explorer like her mother. A warrior so strong she could turn the tide of battle on her own…

 

“You doin’ okay over there?”

 

“…Shaddup.”

 

Amira swatted away Hannah’s outstretched hand. She had collapsed to the ground, her stamina pushed to its limits after a punishing mock battle. It was more like a brutal brawl, really, with Garm and Amy. Using her greatsword for support, she forced herself to her feet and turned to face those two, who were currently being healed by Korinna.

 

After dying in the hundredth layer at the maws of the Corroded Elder Dragon and being forcibly ejected to the Guild, Amira had been informed, quite awkwardly and almost apologetically, by Amy and the others who had watched the Monitor that Tsutomu might have abandoned the fight and run away.

 

Amy, who had studied the workings of the God Eye in depth, could tell that the Monitor’s broadcast had been manipulated. Garm, too, had noticed slight but telling changes in Tsutomu’s demeanor before the team had descended to the hundredth layer. They had pieced together his mindset from his unusually unsteady behavior and reluctantly concluded that he must have fled.

 

But for Amira, who had been in the arena, the truth at the moment had seemed different: Tsutomu had died. That was what Daryl had told her. So she could not bring herself to believe what Amy and Garm were saying. Only after seeing Monitor #1 remained unchanged for hours, and reading the illustrated newspaper articles the next morning, was she forced to accept the truth.

 

[Why? Why the hell did you leave me behind!? You think I’m worse than Diniel or something!? Is that it!? You think I’m… shit… Goddammit it… Damn it all!]

 

To Amira, Tsutomu had become something more than a person she respected; he had become an object of awe, much like her mother was. That realization had struck her during the battle on the ninetieth layer, when he single-handedly revived four fallen comrades and pulled the party back from the brink.

 

Even when Diniel had given up and walked away, Tsutomu never stopped fighting. He resurrected each teammate in turn, held the line as a lone Healer, and carried the entire party to survival without ever falling himself. Watching his resolve, taking the initiative without hiding behind his usual guarded expressions, had sent a bolt of lightning through her entire body.

 

It had reminded her of Camille, who had brute-forced her way through the then-seemingly invincible Shell Crab with sheer firepower. That same explosive surge of admiration had overtaken Amira’s mind and heart. She had wanted, more than anything, to be worthy of fighting by Tsutomu’s side, and to shine as brightly as he and her mother once had.

 

So she pushed herself harder. And when she was chosen to join his party, even if the selection itself hadn’t been something to boast about, she was overjoyed. She swore to make herself someone Tsutomu could count on. Deep down, she had even grown comfortable trusting her back to him.

 

Her admiration for Tsutomu, her belief that with his support she could reach even greater heights, it all ran deep.

 

But then he had betrayed that trust. He had abandoned them, run away, and shut himself up in the Ancient Castle like a coward. The anger that rose in her chest had nearly consumed her, until Diniel had knocked her down a peg and forced her to cool off.

 

Since then, Amira had tried to reframe her expectations, to simply support Tsutomu as a fellow party member… but mere hours later, he had shattered even that. Even now, she still did not understand what had happened, but one thing was undeniable: Tsutomu had returned from the hundredth layer alive, and furthermore, he had done so without giving up the chance of victory.

 

Just as she had begun to accept his shortcomings and recalibrate her expectations, he had once again defied them. And now, her emotions were in turmoil, so tangled she could not even identify what she was feeling.

 

All she knew was that the feeling was overwhelming. She wanted to scream and break things. So she had challenged Garm and Amy to spar with her, and for half the day, they fought without pause.

 

And now, as her body refused to move any longer, Garm spoke to her,

 

“Have you calmed down yet?”

 

“…I dunno.”

 

“You can’t move anymore. For now, just go get some rest.”

 

Garm, who had joined the sparring partly to prepare for dealing with Amira in the event she ever turned undead, began removing his armor and inspecting it. Korinna hurried over, worry written all over her face, and began casting her healing skills.

 

“Are you feeling any better? Really, it’s hard to believe you’d go so far outside a Dungeon.”

 

“…Tch.”

 

“If you’re going to click your tongue at me, I won’t heal you.”

 

“Fine. Leave it. I don’t care.”

 

“Please. You’re covered in wounds. If you were behind on exercise like Tsutomu, you’d end up sick or worse.”

 

Amira let out another faint click of her tongue and rolled over, groaning as she faced the ground. Korinna furrowed her brows in disapproval, but Amira simply raised a feeble fist and thumped it against her thigh.

 

“…What the hell is with that guy? I still don’t get it. So what, Tsutomu could’ve won alone all this time?”

 

“You’d have to ask him yourself. Even Garm and the others couldn’t understand what he was talking about.”

 

When Tsutomu returned from the hundredth layer, he looked like a drug addict. His eyes were hollow and unfocused, and he was babbling a string of incomprehensible jargon. From what context they could gather, he had been trying to explain what had happened down there, but even Amy and Garm, who had known him longer than anyone else, couldn’t understand half of it. For Amira and Korinna, it might as well have been an alien language.

 

“I just…”

 

“…Huh? Wait, are you crying?”

 

“S-shaddup… I’m not crying!”

 

“I-it’s okay! Really! Let’s just finish healing you and head back to the Clan House, okay? Then you can ask Tsutomu everything you want!”

 

Amira herself didn’t know why the tears came. Her emotions had spun so far out of control that her thoughts couldn’t keep up anymore.

 

Panicked at the sight of her crying, Korinna quickly finished the healing and gently hoisted Amira onto her back, shielding her tear-streaked face from view as she turned to leave.

 

“…Could you go ahead and check on Tsutomu?” Garm asked quietly.

 

“Leave it to me!”

 

With a determined nod, Korinna took off at a brisk pace, carrying Amira away from the training room.

 

Volume 8